Why Leaders Hesitate to Embrace AI: Unpacking the Psychodynamics of Avoidance

AI adoption is no longer just a technical challenge—it's a leadership one.

From predictive analytics in talent management to generative AI in learning and development, artificial intelligence is fundamentally changing how work gets done. And yet, many senior leaders—especially those outside of tech—are hesitant to engage. Not just in terms of leading AI transformation, but even in becoming conversant in its basics.

For HR leaders aiming to build future-fit organizations, this hesitation is more than a skills gap. It's a psychological dynamic—a cocktail of defense mechanisms, identity threats, and adult learning barriers that keep even the most experienced leaders stuck.

Let’s unpack why.

1. The Psychodynamic Lens: AI Triggers Identity Threats

From a psychodynamic perspective, resistance to AI isn’t just about fear of technology. It’s often about fear of irrelevance.

Leaders who have built careers on judgment, intuition, and deep expertise can experience a sense of ego threat when confronted with a system that challenges that expertise. AI doesn’t just offer new tools—it invites new ways of knowing. And for some, that feels like a direct challenge to their identity as a decision-maker.

What follows is not always conscious resistance. Leaders may rationalize AI avoidance with comments like:

• “That’s for the IT team.”
• “We need to wait until the technology matures.”
• “There are too many ethical concerns.”
  

These may be valid points, but psychodynamically, they can also serve as defenses—ways to protect one’s sense of self from the discomfort of not knowing.

2. Adult Learning Theory: The ‘Unlearning’ Barrier

Most leaders aren’t wired to learn like novices. Adults learn best when the learning is:

• Relevant to their context
• Problem-centered, not content-centered
• Self-directed
  

Yet, many AI learning experiences are abstract, overly technical, or divorced from the leader’s daily context. This disconnect fuels a learning barrier known as "resistance to unlearning."

Adult learners must often unlearn deeply embedded mental models before they can engage with new paradigms like AI. But unlearning is effortful—it triggers cognitive dissonance and can feel like admitting past ways of working were flawed.

Without psychological safety or guided reflection, many leaders avoid engaging with AI entirely, because it requires not just learning new things—but letting go of the old.

3. The Social Role of the Leader: Pressure to Know, Not Learn

Another inhibitor is the social expectation that leaders are supposed to already know. Unlike junior employees who are encouraged to upskill, senior leaders often lack the permission to be vulnerable learners.

This creates what adult development theorist Robert Kegan might call a "developmental plateau." Leaders get stuck in the Socialized Mind—where their actions are shaped by external expectations—rather than evolving into a Self-Authoring or Self-Transforming mindset that embraces complexity and ambiguity.

In this context, not knowing AI becomes a threat not just to the leader’s competence—but to their legitimacy in the eyes of others.

So, What Can HR Do About It?

To support leaders in overcoming these barriers, HR must go beyond AI training programs. Here are a few starting points:

• Normalize not knowing. Create psychologically safe spaces—like peer learning pods or executive learning labs—where leaders can explore AI without fear of judgment.
• Make learning personal and contextual. Use relevant business problems (e.g. workforce planning, employee listening) as vehicles to teach AI concepts, not the other way around.
• Support identity work. Integrate coaching and reflection into AI learning journeys. Help leaders explore what it means to lead in a world where humans and machines collaborate.
• Model it from the top. When senior executives publicly share their own AI learning journeys—warts and all—it signals that learning is a leadership act, not a weakness.
  
  

How Coaching Helps Leaders Overcome AI Avoidance

While AI strategy is often tackled in boardrooms and transformation committees, the personal journey of each leader—how they make sense of AI, how they feel about their relevance, and how they choose to lead through it—is deeply individual. That’s where coaching becomes invaluable.

Here’s how coaching helps leaders move from apprehension to action:

1. A Safe Space to Explore Identity Threats

Coaching gives leaders a private space to voice concerns they may not feel comfortable raising elsewhere:

• “What if I can’t keep up?”
• “What if my team knows more than me?”
• “Will I still be seen as credible?”
  
  

In coaching, these doubts can be aired without judgment. A skilled coach can help the leader name these fears, normalize them, and then reframe them—often turning uncertainty into curiosity and growth.

“In coaching, leaders can admit what they don’t know—so that they can begin to learn what they need.”

2. Unlearning with Support

AI doesn’t just require new knowledge—it demands letting go of outdated leadership beliefs, such as:

• “Experience is my greatest asset.”
• “The leader should have the answers.”

“Tech strategy belongs to IT.”

Coaching, particularly when grounded in adult development theory (e.g. Kegan, Mezirow), helps leaders recognize these assumptions and choose to evolve beyond them. It’s about helping them move from a Socialized Mind (“what others expect of me”) to a Self-Authoring Mind (“what I believe and choose as a leader in a complex world”).

3. Building AI Confidence through Reflection, not Content

Leaders don’t need to code—they need clarity on how AI connects to their business. Coaching helps them:

• Reflect on real business use cases for AI
• Make meaning of what they’re learning
• Identify blind spots or overreliance on others for AI decisions

Reclaim agency in shaping the AI vision for their teams

Rather than training leaders on AI, coaching empowers them to lead through AI—with self-awareness and intentionality.

4. Modeling a Learning Mindset

Perhaps most importantly, coaching helps leaders build the emotional muscle of adaptive learning—the capacity to stay open, ask questions, and model vulnerability.

In a world where AI is advancing faster than anyone can fully master, the leader who can say, “I’m learning too” is far more powerful than the one pretending to know it all.

Final Thought

The AI revolution won’t wait for every leader to become a data scientist. But it will require every leader to get comfortable being a learner again.

Coaching doesn’t replace AI education—but it enables it. It helps leaders process the invisible frictions holding them back and equips them to show up as curious, growth-minded, and future-fit.

For HR leaders investing in AI transformation, coaching is not a “nice to have”—it’s a strategic enabler of adoption.

Helping them do that is not just a task for L&D. It’s a strategic imperative for HR.

If you're interested in learning more about how BOLDLY can help your organisation, we invite you to explore our or contact us here.